More from Manila

Just wanted to share a little bit more before the end of the year about what we've been up to here...

DARE DRIVING

I have been enjoying being able to drive around the streets of Manila once again. It's been so much fun! The traffic around here hasn't been as bad because of all the holidays (a nine-day holiday had been declared so there is no usual rush hour), but there's still a feel of the manic driving that no other country can beat. I've been to a good amount of countries and I have yet to see another country that can turn 2 lanes into 4, with no straight row of cars. Everybody just seems to be in their own little lane, following their own set of rules. It amazes me how many streets I actually remember. I start to take off not having a clear picture in my mind as to where I'm going or what the streets in the vicinity look like anymore, but as I get closer it all seems to fall back into place. So I haven't gotten lost yet! My dad mentioned that I still had the groove down even after four years of peaceful streets. Driving around parking lots here is more challenging than navigating the streets of Corvallis. I love it!!!

BEACH

We recently visited my grandparent's beach house to see what condition it is in now. My family has been going to this beach ever since the 70's and this is where I have the fondest childhood memories. We would spend long breaks here with everyone in my dad's side of the family, sometimes even including my grandmother's brother's family as well. This is where I learned how to hunt for hermit crabs, collect shells (which I still love to do), how a pig is killed to be roasted (long-time family tradition -- we have a pig killed on our last day so we could feast on it for the most spectacular lunch), how fishermen caught fish and octopus at night, and play card games. Best of all... This is where I learned how to love gazing up at the stars. We would spend hours just staring at the skies for shooting stars and trying to count as many stars as we possibly could. Growing up in the city, we never got to see that many stars. This is where we got to make up for lost time. To this day I think of this beach whenever I look up at a sky full of stars. The house is uninhabitable now. We no longer have family gatherings there. Walking around the area brought back so many vivd memories. It almost felt as if I would see myself with my siblings and cousins any minute now running up the stairs after collecting a pocket full of hermit crabs and dumping it all in our sandbox. I am thankful for these memories, yet saddened that we will never have anything like this again.

BRIEF REFLECTION

I've been away for four years. I will never stay away again for that long. Something about being back in Manila, even if I don't like the city, has made me realize how much I love being back home. There's a feeling of belonging here that I can't fully explain. I have friends here, but not many. I am overwhelmed by the number of people and the constant noise outside, but also know that this is the pulse of the city. I don't feel as if I fit in with the society we seem to be a part of, but I am still one of them. Yet this is and always will be home. I don't feel like I stepped into another world. I feel like I've come back to my world. I wish I could say that this is the most suitable environment to raise a son with special needs, but I honestly can't.

For now I am enjoying the willingness that people have to make time to get together -- to leave their routines behind to catch up with friends. I find myself turning down invitations from people who just want to spend some time catching up because our schedules have been so full. This is not just something that happens when one comes to visit. This is probably what I miss the most when I'm in Corvallis. When I was still living here I would get phone calls and text messages from friends just to see how I'm doing. It was easy to invite people to just get together to "make kwentohan" (to tell stories or to catch up), have dinner, and watch a movie. There was just more time to be with people.

We are now heading into the New Year, which means tons of fireworks shows around us and another family gathering. There's going to be a huge party in front of our building and another grand fireworks display. We will most likely go to my grandparents house (a 10-minute walk from our condominium) for Mass and noche buena (a late evening meal that we eat as we wait for midnight to strike) and then walk over to the street party.

I pray that you all have a festive and Happy New Year!!!

Manila Mania

Mabuhay! We've been in Manila for over a week now and it feels like I've been home all this time. Corvallis feels like a distant, snowy dream. Manila oddly feels like home. Vincent and I left Corvallis in a hurry because of all the ice on the roads. I can drive through madness and typhoons, but I cannot drive on ice. Must be the Filipino blood in me. Don't get me wrong... I loved the beauty of the snow and can tolerate the freezing weather -- I am just not very mobile on ice.

The adventure of making it to Portland was worth it. We've been enjoying our stay here. Vincent has been loving the food, being with family, and the f

ood. He hasn't even taken his handheld videogame out from his carry-on luggage. For those that know Vincent, they know that this is quite an accomplishment and very out of character for Vincent. He has enjoyed walking to the mall to get to stores and restaurants, swimming, and hanging out with his two-year cousin, Malina. He's been caught feeding Malina cereal, setting up the video player so that they can watch a movie together, and holding her hand. I love it! He has also had lengthy conversations with other family members and relatives, which they all enjoy.

The weather has been perfect. We're definitely not missing any of the snow that has covered Oregon these past couple of weeks. The clouds have been with us most of the time, but we've only seen rain once since we've been here. Most of the time the weather is within the 80's -- we're not complaining!

The places we've been to have been quite diverse. We go to the mall across the street from time to time. When I say "across the street", it's not like crossing the street in Corvallis. We have to go down to the underground walkway to avoid having to cross eight lanes of traffic. The mall alone is bigger than the Corvallis downtown; a series of buildings all connected with bridges for your shopping and dining convenience. The stores range from groceries to mid-level department stores to high-end department stores to small stores to boutiques to all kinds of restaurants to food courts... It's quite a dizzying experience that I don't miss when we're in Corvallis. For now, it's a slight distraction that can be tolerated since we're only on vacation.

One of our adventures was to a trip to Quiapo (kiyapo). It's the Old Manila and is located right next to Chinatown. We walked from Chinatown to a great restaurant and then over to Quiapo. Quiapo has an old Church that I am assuming has been there since the Spanish times. Behind it are streets lined with shops. Along the streets there are vendors selling all sorts of items -- food, clothing, pirated DVDs, housewares, knick-knacks, etc. Initially it looks like the streets are blocked off because of the amount of people and stalls. Then you see the sea parting to make way for a tricycle or a car trying to make its way down the street. People yell on megaphones to get you to buy some of their China-made products, vendors try to convince you that you're getting the best deal from them, and some even have demonstrations on how to use their gadget that you can't live without. This market is not where your typical Makati resident would go to because of the mass of people, the dirty streets, the inconvenience of getting there, and they don't carry department store items. I was quite happy, though, to buy my guitar there.

In contrast... We had gone to a "market" located in Makati (the city we are living in, which is considered the Central Business District and the city where all the posh villages of the Philippines are located). The stalls consisted mostly of cooked food that ranged from your typical Filipino fare to American food (one of which was a hamburger stand that challenges one to eat their biggest burger under 20 minutes and you win a prize!) to Spanish dishes and more. Plants, herbal concoctions, snacks, and more were among the other items sold here. This market is held every Saturdays in a park that sits in the middle of condominium buildings. Lots of space, everyone around you is speaking English, and a good place to spot acquaintances of the same caliber. I'm being a bit facetious, because in my mind this is NOT the Philippines. It's a nice place to visit, but it gives me this feeling of being in a fabricated environment. Sort of to make you feel you are in solidarity with the Filipinos, but really it isn't. There are quite a bit of very Filipino items and it's a fun place to visit, but just not what I would declare as a Filipino experience.

We've had plenty of family gatherings and it's been fun spending so much time with my own family. Today we are off to visit my grandparent's beach property, but just for the day. I am still hoping to get to spend some time at the beach, but will have to wait and see when.

I was hoping to post pictures, but our DSL connection is too slow for me to efficiently upload pictures onto a site. As soon as I have this up, I will let you all know. I apologize if this update is quite limited still, but the activities never stop and we'll be taking off in a few minutes. I will post again when I'm able to!

Joy To The World...

Well, it's freezing outside.  Signs of Christmas are present everywhere -- lights strewn all over people's homes, inflatable Santas waving with the wind, sale signs on all stores, and the non-stop Christmas music.  I, personally, am singing shamelessly even more nowadays AND wearing outfits with the colors red and green.  Now there's the Christmas spirit!  I haven't quite gotten myself to wear the sweatshirts with the rubberized Santa and earrings shaped like Christmas lights.  Maybe another two or three...hundred years from now.  My new thing this year is playing Christmas songs on the guitar.  I love it!  My favorites:  The Happy Christmas Song by John Lennon, Angels We Have Heard On High, and Silent Night.  I sometimes have to stop singing though because I lose my rhythm when I get too involved with the singing (my guitar teacher has told me not to play the guitar like I'm singing -- I wonder if he just wants me to stop singing?).

We leave for Manila next week and I am so looking forward to the warmer weather.  I'm also looking forward to going to a warm beach and eating yummy food with family.  Of course, I'm also looking forward to seeing relatives -- particularly my grandparents.  I am a bit anxious about the head-to-foot looks and the know-it-all comments about Vincent.  I want Vincent to enjoy himself because six months ago Vincent wouldn't dare think of going back to Manila (too traumatized by the extra-disciplinary actions taken by other people).  Our attempt at a camping trip last year left a very memorable experience for all those involved.  I am hoping that this is the start of being able to travel with him some more.

This year, though, Christmas isn't quite as Christmas-y as it has been.  Times are just tough.  Almost everyday I talk to people who are struggling to pay their rent, looking for work, worried about losing their current job, and just plain worried.  I've met more people who have told me that they have never had to go look for financial help before.  I had somebody in my office who was telling me how she used to be the one adopting families to take care of during Christmas.  Now she's needing help to pay rent and finding out sources for free food.  As we see this need grow it's hard not to take on some of the stress and anxiety that these people are feeling.  I know I've been more sensitive to things people say and do around me, but it almost feels like a way to protect myself.  I take it out on others so that I am able to sit down and listen to those who really need the help.  

Almost every week, sometimes less, major corporations announce layoffs.  Hewlett-Packard has been doing it for quite some time now.  AT&T announced cutting 40,000 jobs last week... Sony announced 8,000 today...  533,000 jobs lost last month alone.  I've heard of one person being the only one left in his department, which is a mixed blessing.  He's happy to have a job, but he's now left with more work and wondering what will happen to his co-workers.  It makes me wonder when I'll be next.  I've been told that I probably don't have to worry because more and more people will be needing help.  But where will this help come from?  My friend who runs a non-profit in town is struggling to get enough food to fill Christmas baskets for needy families.  Our emergency financial assistance funds come from donations -- where will this money come from if our parishioners are losing their jobs?  I always say that those who work for alcohol companies are the only ones with job security right now -- watch those sales go up.

As I worry about losing my job, I am thankful for a few things.  I've never had the need for more and more money, so I make do with little.  I have never felt any attachments to material goods, so not having the latest gadgets is just fine with me and everything I own fits in one bedroom.  Most importantly, I have a very supportive family.  When it was announced that AIG (American Insurance Group) was getting federal help to keep itself afloat, I was initially worried because that's where I have my retirement fund.  This was quickly replaced by relief when I remembered that I had only placed about $100 at that time.  Phew!  

My thoughts then go to other countries in the world.  If Americans are struggling, what happens to all those countries who rely on the almighty dollar?  What happens to all those people who rely on the dollars that are sent to them every month by a family member who works overseas?  What happens to industries that rely on the Americans' consumerism?  What happens to those who were already hungry before this whole mess got even worse?

I often feel the need for quick fixes, but this is just too huge for me to even come up with anything sane sounding.  My latest is...  What if we were all just considered citizens of the world and forced to spread everything equally?  I mentioned this to Aki and he said that he also valued the unique identities of each country.  Well, we would all still have our own identities -- just like those who are from the west coast are different from those from the east, or the north and the south.  We would all share resources -- natural and man-made.  It makes me wonder if we have been citizens of the world all this time, would we be as quick to go to war with each other?  Would we allow such inequality of resources?  Would we let somebody just thousands of miles away -- no body of water even separating us -- go to bed hungry each night?  Would we see each other a little more equal than we do now and not consider ourselves more superior than somebody with a different skin color?  Would we dump harmful products (such as selling cigarettes) on another country for the sake of profit?  Would we be in a mess this big at all?

I do have tips for making this holiday brighter for others around us...

1.  Donate to your favorite charity.  Choose one within your own community and one outside of your community.

2.  Live and give simply.

3.  When you go grocery shopping, buy two extra canned goods for your local food bank.

4.  Donate blankets, socks, sleeping bags, and tents for the homeless (I had a mountain of these in my office -- it was glorious!).

5.  Give to your Church; especially if they provide assistance to the needy (like St. Mary's!).

6.  Volunteer your time at your local soup kitchen, food pantry, or other non-profit organization that help the needy.

7.  If you're able to, volunteer for organizations that help the poor in other countries (can be short term, too).

8.  Be a support to someone who is feeling the stress of these economic times.

9.  Be an advocate for policies that protect those weakest in our society.   

10. Remember the true meaning of the season -- to prepare the way for the coming of our Lord, Jesus.  Think of Mary's example of humility, acceptance, simplicity, and her call for justice (Magnificat).  If we truly believe that Jesus lives in each of us, we learn to value those around us and even those we don't see.    

For now...  Let's try to bring glad tidings and joy to the world!  (I can come up with more, if you want!)

  

Life and Love Lessons

Now wouldn't that be funny if I were to start teaching about life and love? Ha! I am far from the expert on these things. Unusually enough, though, the people I've been learning from lately are not from people one would expect to learn from also. Well, I take that back... I've just had lunch with a friend of mine (one of my retired lady friends) and she shared so much with me that further reaffirmed thoughts I've had brewing in my mind.

Love According to Stretch and Dale

I've become quite acquainted with two men who are a part of our homeless community. I see them from time to time. I've mentioned Dale before in a previous blog entry -- he's the MacGyver of Corvallis. He's got the information and tools necessary to do anything. Dale has talked to me in the past about a certain lady that he has fallen so deeply in love with. He talks about how the room lights up the moment she walks in, how he's never felt this strongly about any other person, and how after 61 years he has finally met the person he would love to share the rest of his life with. You see there are some complications. This lady friend of his has issues about committing, has fetishes I dare not mention in this blog entry (he has felt the need to tell me in detail what these are and I try hard not to react), and was actually more like Dale in a lot of ways before she became the woman that she is now (you will just have to figure this one out for yourselves :) ). Unfortunately, thoug, these have left her unable to believe that anyone would want to be in a relationship with her. Yet he loves her more than anyone he has ever loved. His biggest fear now is to die alone. He comes from a line of men that did not live to an old age, has diabetes, and he is homeless. So basically he is feeling that his time to go will be coming very soon and he doesn't think much of himself. I must say that Dale's story is the first I've ever heard of unconditional love to this degree. He came looking for somebody to talk to about his problems with her, but not because of anything she has done or the revelation on her real identity. No. His problem was more of trying to understand this feeling that has ovewpowered his emotions and coming to terms with the knowledge that he has met somebody he would like to be with. He is also having a hard time seeing how he could possibly convince her knowing that he is homeless and doesn't have much to offer to her. What surprised me the most was my reaction to him and the words that kept coming to my mind as we spoke. I kept trying to hold them back because these are the very things I have denied myself, yet here was this man I had to tell these things to. I listed all the traits that I saw in him that were such gifts -- he is intelligent, he is funny, a gifted musician (he is very good and this is how he met his love), and has the capability to love unconditionally. He has had major setbacks in his life, but he has survived so far. I found myself telling him that if he is truly sure about his love for this lady, then he should show her the patience she needed, be there for her as a friend, and, most importantly, to recognize the good in himself first. The nice part of this conversation was that he has had thoughts about coming back to the Church. I don't know if he actually has, but it's a good step that I will further pursue.

Stretch is quite the trouble-maker at times. He has been known to be quite rowdy and possibly violent, but he has been pleasant with me. He came to my office wanting to know where he could stay before the winter homeless shelter started. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do for him (he has burned bridges with all other options), but we ended up having a great conversation that lasted for over an hour. He told me about his life. This started by his telling me that he could only see his "little girl" for an hour and a half, three times a week. So I asked him how old his daughter is. He then told me that this was his wife. Stretch is 7'1" (hence the name Stretch) and his wife is 5'4", so she's his "little girl". Apparently, she was Stretch's girlfriend when he was 17 years old and she was 14. Her mother made him break up with this girl or else she would call the police on him. They were on horseback in Texas at the time he was told this, so he rode off and hopped on a train to get away. He has been roaming around since. They then got reconnected again after 30+ years and decided they still love each other. She left her partner to be with Stretch and she and Stretch have been "married in the eyes of God" ever since. I wonder what God has to say about that. She is dealing with mental issues herself, so she is in a home that cares for her. After all these years, Stretch says that they cry everytime they have to part. Imagine a 7'1" man with the reputation of causing fights and having been put in jail numerous times sitting in front of you with tears in his eyes as he talks about his "little girl". It was very touching for me and even I thought I was going to cry (yes, this wouldn't have taken much anyway).

LIFE ACCORDING TO ME

One thing I learned from Stretch and Dale is that love knows no mental issues, homelessness, fetishes, odd pasts, etc. Here are stories of men and women who have found each other in the midst of all their issues. Not just that. Talking to these men have taught me that lessons on how I live out my life and faith come from everywhere. I found that they have a different sense of what a community is like, but it's the most accepting community I've ever seen. They have issues such as developmental disabilities and addictions, but they exist around each other, help each other at times, and accept each other. Yes, they have times of stealing, fighting, and more, but what community doesn't have its own problems. I've seen them share their food stamps in order to have a special treat like liverwurst and onions on french bread. They have the time to sit around to talk, play music, and share their stories. This is something I don't get to see much anymore in my own community.

Which leads me to my time and how it affects my faith. I have been B-U-S-Y! I have not had a single weekend that was completely my own. I find myself exhausted on Monday morning up to Sunday evening. I do all that I do for the sake of my ministry, for the sake of other ministries, and for the sake of living out my faith. Yet what am I left with? I am happy because of all the interaction I've had with people, but the feeling of happiness doesn't last because I'm too exhausted. I end up too tired to see Jesus in all that I do anymore. All I see is a busy schedule. I have asked myself if happiness the end product or the by product of all that I do. I find that in all that I've done where happiness is the end product, it has only led to short-term happiness and long-term exhaustion and dissatisfaction. But when happiness is simply a by-product, I find myself being happier in the long run because there was much more substance to what I had just done. Honestly, there were times when I didn't want to have to meet with people like Stretch and Dale because my schedule was just too tight. Yet, those were the most rewarding times I can recall.

We've been asked to see Jesus in the stranger, the hungry, the thirsty, the prisoner, the sick. My busy schedule has caused me to not recognize and even reject Jesus in everyone I meet and in all that I do. I have once again been reminded that love and happiness does not come from the busyness I can offer. It simply comes from the acceptance of Jesus in each one. I don't think Dale and Stretch would ever tell you that they love who they love because they see Jesus in their respective women. Yet, that's what I see. They accept them for their complete being -- good and bad. Jesus asks me to see Him in all that I encounter, not to busy myself with the expectations of being accepted or loved. I already am loved and accepted by Him -- just as I am.

Happy Respect Life Month!

I haven't finished writing about my Peru trip yet and I promise I will! You've seen the pictures that I've posted. I promise to write about it all soon. I am in the process of dealing with quite a bit as Todd and I have broken up. It's not easy for me and re-living my trip to Peru causes a lot of emotions to rise up to the surface, so I am needing a bit more time on this. I promise that I am nearing that time. We are still friends (with a lot of Todd's patience, of course) and I'm thankful for that.

Back to the whole purpose of this blog... Happy Respect Life Month! October has been named by the US Bishops (I believe it's just the US Bishops) as Respect Life Month. This is in where we honor the human dignity from conception to natural death. For a lot of people Respect Life brings up one topic -- abortion. My oh my, Respect Life covers so much more. We are called to respect ALL aspects of life. We are made into God's image from the time we are tiny, tiny embryos to the time we die.

"Let us rededicate ourselves to defending the basic rights of those who are weakest and most marginalized: the poor, the homeless, the innocent unborn, and the frail and elderly who need our respect and our assistance,"

Abortion is definitely a very important aspect of respecting life. I remember being asked my view on abortion during my interview and I could feel myself shaking. I am very much against abortion and feel strongly that even at the earliest stage of pregnancy God is present. I admit that this was not always my view on abortion. At one point in my life I would have told you that the woman had every right to make that decision. I am now appalled at having even thought that. Why am I so against abortion now? Vincent. He's all the proof that I need. Even though I was being abused by his father while I was pregnant with him, I could not imagine detaching a very special life inside of me no matter how hard times were. I honestly did not know what was going to happen to me during that time. My relationship was miserable, but my pride would not let me give up on something I had gotten myself into. My pride also prevented me from thinking that I would rely on my family. I would cry in the bathroom not knowing what steps to take next, but knowing for sure that this life growing inside of me was to be the most special being in my life. I am thankful that Vincent and I made it out of that situation alive because there were times that I was sure he could harm us greatly. The whole experience of being pregnant and being a mother has made my views on abortion even stronger. For every step that Vincent takes in his journey through life, the more I am thankful for this precious gift that God has lent to me during my lifetime. He's now very involved with the presidential election and is such a joy to listen to as he analyzes each candidate.

Let's look into other aspects of Respect Life. I admit that I will not be able to cover all as it's getting late and we could go on and on. In our parish we are educating our parishioners on Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship. This is a statement put out by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops that guides Catholics to look at the issues and to base decisions on our Catholic Social Teachings. In my ideal world I would write a backgrounder on the social teachings, but that would take up too much time. I love these teachings because it helps keep me focused on how Scripture teaches us to live out our lives. Whenever I feel this rebellious side of me starting to stir (or is it the cynical side?), I turn to these teachings to keep me grounded.

There I go again -- on a tangent and pulling a Sarah Palin :) OK... Let's look at the opposite end of the spectrum -- Euthenasia/Assisted Suicide. This is a difficult topic because as humans we long to ease the suffering of our loved ones or long to be free from pain. We are to keep in mind that this life is not for us to take. Honoring the divine in us means honoring His decision as to when we go. I struggle with the power that humans have in deciding when it is time to die. Why is it so easy for people to administer this death? I know that I've never been faced with this situation, but this pain and struggle is part of our living process. At all times, God is in us and with us.

Capital Punishment -- again in way, shape or form are we to control another person's time of death no matter what crime he/she may have committed. A human being is a human being even when they have made bad decisions in their life. I don't care if you try to convince me that this person is the devil himself; it is not for you and me to decide. As God is willing to forgive us, so should we. Pope John Paul II forgiving his would-be assassinator, the Amish community that forgave the assassinator of their children and other members,... This is how we are called to love. We love not just those we can easily love; we love those that are hardest to love.

I will now start to end this as I'm fading quickly because my day started even before there was day(light, that is). So what do we do with everything in between? How do we respect the poor and marginalized? How do we respect nation's declaring war on another country? How do we respect those who turn to terrorist acts? How do we respect those who administer inhumane torture tactics? How do we respect those who are in need of adequate health care? How do we respect the mentally and physically handicap among us? How do we respect the need to let science prevail over nature? There are so many issues that fall under Respect Life and I could go on and on.

As a lot of Filipinos are used to, we as Catholics are called to political life. OK, my opinion, though, is that the Filipino Archbishops tend to dictate too much. Anyway... We are still called to advocate for the issues that revolve around our Church teachings. We are called to fight for policies that would benefit the common good. We are called to love one another -- from the moment of conception to the time we are called to join our maker.

These thoughts are a bit brief on each point (some more than others). I will try to get back and address more of these issues. This month is going to be very busy for me, but most exciting in my Social Justice career so far. I will share more as we go along.

A couple more things, though... I will be teaching English to a group of Filipino and Hispanic women starting October 11th. This is so exciting for me because this is also the start of another exciting venture for me. I am in the planning stages (more like talking stages, but it's getting there) for a women's ministry. I plan on creating a community of women for strength and support in our faith and to teach other women to empower themselves as well. We are in a community that has two extremes -- very strong, educated women and those who are economically challenged because of various situations. I long to bring these two groups together to teach each other to live by faith, to let go of fear, and to be stronger because of each other and our love for God. Very broad description so far, but I will get into details as it progresses. We deserve that R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

Snapshot of Homelessness or Sad Story?

I am actually in the process of writing about my trip to Peru, but just had to release some thoughts about a recent article that was published at our local newspaper. I have tried my best to let this article not disturb me, but I find myself angered and saddened by what was written. In the article he interviewed two homeless men he found at the camp, drinking beer, and just laying around. They scoff at the organizations that have been providing them with money, clothing and food. The author -- through his interview with these two men -- portray their surroundings as dirty and full of dangerous people and he is "disconcerted" by the fact that they have decent-looking clothes and seem to be well-fed.

I do not blame the men he interviewed for giving this impression. I am angry towards the author for focusing on the two men who would perpetuate the myths our society holds about homelessness. At the same time he did a great disservice to the many people and organizations that are pulling all their resources together to provide those around us in need with their basic needs and their dignity. He did not bother to interview those who choose to look for work, those who choose to spend their time at the daytime drop in center for a structured and safe environment, he never bothered to mention that the gentlemen he interviewed are known to have mental illnesses that they cannot seek treatment for because 1) they do not recognize their real need so they self-medicate with alcohol; and, 2) they do not have the services and money available to them.

He chose to leave out the families that live in their automobiles or transfer from one temporary home to another as they try to sort out their situation. He chose to leave out the students who cannot afford to pay for tuition and pay for rent in Corvallis. He chose to leave out those who have had to turn to the streets because they have either lost their jobs, have had to pay for high medical expenses, or have had to leave sad, sad situations. Almost everyday I receive requests for assistance from people who have just had one misfortune after another, but are working their hardest to turn their situations around.

I am mostly saddened by the fact that this author would use an avenue seen as being credible to continue to perpetuate the myths that have hindered our society from reaching out to the homeless in our community. He has hurt those who need help so much more than he could imagine. Already there were online responses saying that we need to get rid of these dangerous people, that we should really be getting rid of gay people, etc. Why do we do this to each other?

I have invited the author to spend time in the Corvallis Daytime Drop In Center (they provide breakfast, lunch, and structured activities for the homeless) and to volunteer with the numerous organizations that are trying so hard to provide for those in our community that so desperately need our help. I don't expect he will actually take me up on this, but I hope that it will at least challenge him.

How do we challenge ourselves to truly understand the families that live under the bridge, the ones we see as lazy and not doing anything with his life, the people that we see as "crazy" or "wierd"? How often do we actually try to find out why their lives are the way they are? How do we challenge ourselves to walk in the shoes of those who don't have what we have? How do we see Jesus in the man who sits around the camp drinking his beer all day long and seemingly refusing to help himself?

If you are interested, here is a link to the article... http://www.gazettetimes.com/articles/2008/09/05/news/community/3loc31_clmwray.txt

And if you're interested as well, here's a copy of the letter that I sent to the editor... (Watch out! Michi's at it again!)

I am so deeply saddened by the article written by Mr. Pat Wray entitled “Homeless in Corvallis: A Snapshot”. I would like to request Mr. Wray to take a wider angle to this snapshot. This article perpetuates the myths that pervade our society about homelessness and does a great disservice to the numerous people and organizations in our community that are working hard to provide our brothers and sisters with their basic needs and give them their dignity.

Mr. Wray does not take into account that the gentlemen that he interviewed represent a minority of our homeless population. The faces that represent the homeless of Corvallis consist of hardworking men and women who are struggling to meet their basic needs for one reason or another. There are the faces of the children who have to live in automobiles or temporarily in the homes of others – unable to call any place “home”. There are the faces of those who are mentally ill who are unable to gain control of their illness because of lack of services and resources. Perhaps rather than flashing a snapshot of laziness and drunkenness, Mr. Wray could have shown us the true reality of the way of life our homeless population has to live with.

He should also recognize that the process that the organizations he mentioned in his article take the steps that they do in order to fairly distribute the limited resources that are gathered. The gentlemen he interviewed very obviously could use more services that our community is unable to serve them. Mr. Wray should applaud the organizations and individuals who have provided these gentlemen decent clothing and nourishing meals. If there are some who have learned to use the system to their advantage, perhaps the organizations that continue to serve them would rather err on the side of compassion than in being judgmental and cold-hearted.

I find it disconcerting that you would use an avenue of credibility to play on the sad state of others. It is through harmful articles such as these that hinder our society from taking on its true role – to ensure the safety, the basic needs, and the dignity of those in need.

Mr. Wray, I invite you to spend one morning with the Corvallis Daytime Drop In Center and listen to the stories of those who choose to spend their day in a safe and structured environment. I invite you to interview or even volunteer with the numerous organizations (Stone Soup, Vina Moses, St. Vincent de Paul, Men’s Winter Shelter, WeCare, St. Mary’s Church Poor Fund, and many more) in our community that serve those who you have given us a snapshot of. I would like to see what kind of picture you portray after doing so.

Michi Gonzalez

Social Justice Coordinator

St. Mary’s Church Corvallis

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Link

TORTURE IS A MORAL ISSUE -- PART 2

TORTURE IS A MORAL ISSUE: A CATHOLIC GUIDE

We continue on with our guide about Torture. The text below are excerpts from Torture is a Moral Issue: A Catholic Study Guide developed by Catholic members of the National Religious Campaign Against Torture and the Office of International Justice and Peace of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

PART 2 – THE PROBLEM WITH TORTURE

Catholic social teaching today opposes torture in the treatment of any detained or imprisoned person. For the Church is convinced that every human person bears a God-given dignity; respect for that dignity must always be present. The Church also is careful to point out that torture is illegal, prohibited under international law.

Pope Benedict XVI talked about this in September 2007, when he addressed an international congress of Catholic prison ministers. “Means of punishment or correction that either undermine or debase the human dignity of prisoners” must be eschewed by public authorities, he said. Immediately he added the following statement, which incorporates a quote taken from the Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church: “The prohibition against torture ‘cannot be contravened under any circumstances’” (No. 404).

What constitutes torture? Here’s the full definition written in the Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment adopted by the U.N. General Assembly in December 1984:

For the purpose of this Convention, torture means any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent of acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity. It does not include pain or suffering arising only from, inherent in or incidental to lawful sanctions.

Hope Is the Solution

“How in our fearful times can we remain hopeful?” That question was posed in 2001 by Cardinal Godfried Danneels. It is a crucial question, he proposed, because “hope is not located somewhere at the edge of human existence: it is its heart. If it is hit, the person dies.” Cardinal Danneels, Archbishop of Mechelin-Brussels, Belgium, spoke about this at Jesuit-run John Carroll University in Cleveland, Ohio, shortly after the attacks of 9-11.

“The cardinal asked, “May we still hope?” There is, he observed, “so much war and violence, genocide, unemployment, crime and terrorism.” Thus, “a sort of existential angst hangs in the air,” and “humankind wishes to fight back.” But “do we always choose the right weapon?” The cardinal, responding to his own question said, “Often we become cold, businesslike, cynical or even indifferent. The real solution lies elsewhere. It is hope.”

Summing Up

The use of torture in the treatment of prisoners or of people considered to be enemies is opposed in Catholic teaching. In the Church’s eyes:

Torture violates a human person’s God-given dignity.

The end does not justify the means; torture is a moral issue.

Torture violates international humanitarian law.

The torture and crucifixion of Jesus, and the torture and abuse of many saints down through history also are never forgotten by the Church. What do we learn from the interrogation, flogging, and crucifixion of Jesus? How does the torture of Jesus and many saints remind us of our nation’s response to threatening developments in the world today?

Some think that a sense of desperation began to influence people’s thinking in the period after 9-11. What do you think?

The Catholic Church always wants to contribute to the world in positive ways and to help cast light on the most pressing issues of the times. That is why the Church and her people enter into the public discussion of an issue such as torture.

What constructive contribution do you think the Christian community or its individual members can make to the conversation about key issues our nation faces, such as its response to terrorism?

Concluding Prayer

“From now on, Lord,

Help me to bring your love everywhere:

to schools and hospitals,

to marketplaces and theaters,

to press and television.

No one should be deprived

of the environment of love.

Lord, love is the means you want me to use

to bear witness to you,

or you would have shown me another way.”

(From “Prayers of Hope, Words of Courage”,

by Cardinal Francis Xavier Nguyen Van Thuan,

Pauline Books, 2002)

Torture -- A Moral Issue: Part 1

I had mentioned some time back that I will share with all of you some of the issues that I would like to create more of an awareness about. Here is part of a guide that I am sharing with the rest of our parish.

TORTURE IS A MORAL ISSUE: A CATHOLIC GUIDE

In early 2008 a discussion guide on torture was developed as a collaboration between the Catholic members of the National Religious Campaign Against Torture and the Office of International Justice and Peace of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. In the coming weeks, we will be featuring portions of this guide to develop an understanding of the following: 1) Dignity of every human person; 2) Torture; 3) Jesus’ Gospel instruction on loving our enemies; and 4) Promoting a discussion of actions that individuals, families, small groups and others might take to address the issue of torture.

RECOGNIZING EVERY PERSON’S GOD-GIVEN DIGNITY

Catholic social teaching holds that all people bear a God-given dignity. This conviction makes demands upon us: calls us to action, calls us to respect each person.

It is possible at once to feel personally affirmed by this teaching and disturbed by its most far-reaching demands, especially the demand to recognize human dignity in what may appear to us as difficult cases.

So this teaching leads somewhere: It leads to respect for ourselves and all others, and to action on behalf of justice. It leads to recognizing the face of Jesus in others.

This teaching also may prompt us to take a second look at widely accepted ways our society treats people – to assess whether some ways of treating people reflect respect for human dignity, or whether, in fact, they constitute abuses of human dignity.

Society itself frequently is divided when it comes to judging whether or not an action constitutes an abuse of human dignity. Thus, debates over particular issues get played out in the pages of our daily newspapers and on TV. For example, since 1973, there has been an intense debate over abortion, in which the Church calls for respect for human life from the moment of conception. There are ongoing debates over racism: when it is operative in school systems and when it is not, or how it influence voting choices. Currently, there is an ongoing debate in society over abortion and human embryonic stem-cell research, which the Church regards as a failure to recognize the unborn child’s humanity and dignity.

And, of course, there is debate over torture: whether certain practices commonly regarded as torture are legally or morally acceptable in the treatment and interrogation of prisoners accused of terrorist acts.

Torture is an issue in the news of our day, an issue that Catholic social teaching prompts us to examine. The issue of torture will be explored in detail in this discussion guide. At this point, however, we might conclude this discussion of human dignity by posing these questions:

What is at risk when respect does not characterize the relationships of individuals, of cultural and religious groups, or of nations?

Is it possible to condone practices of torture while at the same time affirming every person’s God-given human dignity? Why or why not?

Concluding Prayer

Holy Mary, Mother of God,

you have given the world its true light,

Jesus, your Son – the Son of God.

You abandoned yourself completely

to God’s call

and thus became a wellspring

of the goodness that flows forth from him.

Show us Jesus. Lead us to him.

Teach us to know and love him,

so that we too can become

capable of true love

and be fountains of living water

in the midst of a thirsting world.

(From “Deus Caritas Est,” Pope Benedict XVI’s first encyclical)

Compassion and Action

I still have not been able to transfer my pictures and I haven't been able to completely settle back to life in Corvallis.  Once I've had time to just sit back, write down all my thoughts about my trip to Peru, and upload all my pictures you will all get to read about my most incredible trip.  As for now...  I still have to unpack my luggage and my thoughts.

I have been reflecting on something someone in my Bible study group mentioned last week.  We were talking about being called to holiness and what it means to be a Christian.  She just said straight out, "It's so hard to be Christian.  I know I'm supposed to give money to help the poor, but I don't know if I'm supposed to give all or just a small portion.  I mean, I worked hard for that money."  The first part of her statement I agree with -- it is hard to be a Christian.  It takes work and it often means being different from the expectations that society has laid before us.  The rest of her statement just makes me so sad.

According to the book Compassion by Henri Nouwen, Donald McNeill, and Douglas Morrison, being compassionate "is not a bending toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not a reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull.  On the contrary, compassion means going directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there."  Being a Christian is more than the thought that counts -- it's being able to look everyone in the eye and being a true brother and sister to each one we meet.  It's being able to take action towards fulfilling our task of easing the suffering of all those in need.  

Living out our Christian lives will sometimes mean being drawn out of your comfort zones.  There are those who live as missionaries in poor communities throughout the world.  They are in full community with those that they minister to.  I have friends in Argentina who work with the youth and women to feed them spiritually and help them break from the bondage of their struggles.  My friends send updates periodically and these always make me cry because of how happy they are with their work and how they are able to touch the lives of those they encounter.  Todd is in Peru with two other lay missionaries.  Todd works with the youth in his parish.  I am inspired by how he is teaching them and providing them with opportunities that empower the youth to take leadership roles.  Through these roles they are able to lead and gather other youth towards working together in the parish with the hopes of making life in their community stronger and working together towards overcoming their struggles.  Todd's housemates are nurses that work at the hospice (in which Todd volunteers as well) and they reach out to those who are terminally ill.  They provide medical services to people who are unable to afford the care that they need.  Todd visits different homes with the pastoral worker and they provide companionship and prayer for those dying and their families.  This is just a very small sample of what missionaries do around the world.   It is hard, but I'm sure if you talk to each one of them you'll learn of the happiness and fulfillment it brings to their lives.  They don't work from on high -- they are right there in community with the people they serve.

One doesn't have to go very far, though, to be with those in need.  In Corvallis alone, we have several organizations and groups that one can be involved in to live out our call.  There's Stone Soup -- they serve free, hot meals for those who are in need of nourishment.  There's the Daytime Drop In Center where the homeless can stay during the day for a safe, structured day.  At the start of the winter, there's the Men's Winter Shelter where homeless men can spend the night in a warm shelter.  There are services throughout town that provide for emergency financial assistance.  There are organizations that assist with mental health issues, providing for families that have children to ensure that the children stay in school, food banks that provide food boxes, groups that provide clothing for school, and much more.

Let's also keep in mind that being poor doesn't just mean being financially poor.  It also means being in need of a service or support that a person may not be able to provide for themselves.  There's the Jackson Street Youth Shelter in Corvallis that provides shelter for youth who are in need of a safe place to stay.  The youth stay here for a variety of reasons; sometimes it's to get away from unsafe relationships with parents or guardians, sometimes it's just to take a break from parents when they don't see eye-to-eye.  For women who are pregnant or think they may be, there's the Options Pregnancy Resource Center.  Women can seek services such as counseling, pregnancy tests, parenting classes, etc at Options.  Women who are not sure of their next step when they have unwanted or unexpected pregnancies can turn to Options and their counselors will guide them through with the hopes that they opt to carry out their pregnancy.  For those that have been abused, there's the Corvallis Center Against Rape and Domestic Violence (CARDV).  They help women in abusive relationships to get away from the situation and pick up their lives.  

On a personal note on that one...  I often wondered to myself why I am not more involved with CARDV considering that I came from a physically and verbally abusive relationship.  I realize how fortunate I am that I have a supportive family that helped me through this tough situation. Without their help I know that I would either still be in this abusive relationship, out in the streets (or at least with relatives if I were still in the Philippines), or, to be truly honest about these situations, dead.  Part of me still wonders if I have fully overcome the effects of having been in this relationship.  I noticed not too long ago that there are certain movements that people make at close proximity to me that make me flinch still.  I know that it has affected my relationships with other men (I am sure Todd can attest to this one:) ).  It has just hit me (inside my head -- not physically :) )that one way of overcoming some of the anxieties and fears that still exist would be to be involved with this organization.  

Yes, I tend to go off the topic.  Going back to what I was writing about...  I'm sure that no matter what city or country you live in you will find organizations and services that you can get involved with.  Tending to the poor is more than just handing out money from our comfortable homes.  Living out our faith means being in community and in humble service to those around us.  Everyone I've spoken to who works hard towards being obedient to this call will tell you that it's hard, but they will also follow it up with how happy they are with what they are doing.  Two people that Todd and I stayed with who are both missionaries themselves called themselves crazy because of the life that they have chosen for themselves, but they said it with smiles and are happy for this choice.  Being compassionate and taking action means being different -- what's wrong with that?

Realities...

Well, I'm back from Peru and have tons to share about my trip. It was a very full and amazing trip. Unfortunately, getting pictures posted hasn't been quite so easy because of some technical difficulties. I will sit down later on and write about my trip when I have pictures to go along with it.

For now I am back at St. Mary's and trying to get work done -- not an easy task for now! I've been teaching my 2nd graders for Vacation Bible School in the mornings and then trying to fit in whatever work I can in the afternoons.

I ask permission to go off topic a bit... I love my 2nd graders! What surprised me the most was that some of them were my preschoolers during my first year with St. Mary's Preschool. It's hard to believe that they will soon be preparing for First Communion. More and more I am tempted to say that I would like to teach that class, but I'm trying to be realistic about my schedule. I already have some Sundays committed for my work activities -- I don't know how much Vincent and my parents would appreciate my being gone every Sunday. I suppose one reality here is that I'm getting older! My preschoolers are now reading and know all sorts of bigger words (and being able to use them, too!). I love being able to get my hugs from them again. I never realized how much I missed this part of being with kids. I have the biggest class of all -- 17 kids, but they are just great. This age still listens when they are told to listen, yet are capable of really great conversations already as well. I initially felt suckered into teaching this class, but now I am so thankful that this was sent my way at this time.

Going back to my real job... I have encountered once again my usual cast of characters and they've been keeping me grounded. I volunteer at our Daytime Drop In Center for the homeless. I help as much as I can in setting up breakfast and then pretty much be there to talk with the people. There are two people in the center that I particularly enjoying talking to. Jeniffer is the Executive Director of the Center. She has a 10-year old son as well. She has also self-diagnosed herself as having Aspergers. She said that she has to force herself to look people in the eyes when she talks with them. She learned from her mom and sister (who are diagnosed with Aspergers) that this is a trait, so she does her best to overcome this. She also told me that she used to be violent (something that is quite common with people who have not learned to control their anxieties), so this has led to a tougher life for her. You see, Jeniffer herself is homeless. I admire her because of her knowledge of the people that she works with and her dedication to doing this job even if it is as a volunteer. She tells me that most of the time she just longs to get behind her handheld videogame, but she fights that because she knows this is a common trait of people with Aspergers and that she needs to interact with people. She lives in a tent in a field in the outskirts of Corvallis where a lot of the homeless people with tents live. She shares her tent with her boyfriend, Wayne, and their dog that they saved from an abusive situation. Her son lives with his father and she sees him on the weekends. I assume she is unable to hold a job because of her disability. She told me that she has tried so hard, but she just can't conform to the workplace.

Then there's Dale. He's the Macgyver (spelling?) of the center. He has anything and everything in his backpack and in his pockets. He is so smart. He can tell you anything about everything (which, of course, leads to unusually lengthy conversations). He is generous with what he has to offer (like wrench-shaped sugar free mints that he likes because he's diabetic). When he knows you need help with something, he jumps to help. Dale was in the Vietnam war. He definitely has mental issues, but I'm not quite sure what it is. He is very good friends with another gentleman, Loran, whom I've met because of the assistance we've given to him at the church. He is also a vet. They would get along well because they are very similar in their mannerism. Loran is a big guy who is diabetic also and has a wound that hasn't healed in over a year. He came to me asking for help because his tent and other personal belongings (including his Bible he says) were stolen. He is this tall, heavy-built man, that can be quite snippy and sarcastic. Yet he is not afraid to give hugs and was close to tears when he was given more than what he had expected. These gentlemen, I assume, are in the state that they are in because of their duty to fight for their country. So why are they are out in the streets? I highly doubt that if they were in a better state of mind (or if they were getting the proper mental health assistance that they need) they would choose to be homeless. There are those that feel that this is a choice that they make. When you talk to these men and women who call the fields and streets home, listen to their streams of thoughts, and find out what they've gone through, I don't agree that this was a conscious choice.

There are others I've met who are not homeless, but barely meeting their basic needs. I've written about Laura whose son was being detained in immigration. He was deported to Mexico. This is a man in his 20s who grew up in the United States. He came to Corvallis when he was 5 years old. He was his mother's sole financial supporter because she has been too ill to work. Laura has diabetes and is blind in one eye. She now has no one to support her and is looking for any kind of work she can get. Yet Laura has managed to find ways to smile, keep me updated on her status, and tells me funny stories about her son. It kills me that I am unable to pay for her utilities or her rent because she was already given assistance a few months ago. Now I have to send her to all sorts of other places, but even those places will not be able to help any longer in a month or two. Laura is quite the fighter and I think she will find a way. Her son is now working in Mexico and is paid quite well considering Mexico's low wages. His being able to speak English and Spanish with fluency will be helpful for him, but will not be enough to provide the support that his mother needs. With her medication alone, she spends well over $400 a month. Watching her take these small steps towards survival is quite inspiring, but heartbreaking as well.

I sometimes feel overwhelmed with the hardships of people all over the world. I also manage to make myself feel even more overwhelmed when I throw my own woes into the pot. I know that my problems don't come anywhere near what Jeniffer, Dale, Loran and Laura have to go through. This does remind me that we each have our own realities that we deal with as best we can and they are hardships nonetheless. Actually, it was Todd who reminded me of this. I know I mope, cry and get cranky when I feel my life is tough. Seeing these people laugh and share, though, teaches me that I, too, can laugh and share. Realities will follow us wherever we go, but we have to just keep going and laugh and share along the way.

Childlike Trust

The one thing I miss the most since leaving the preschool are the kids. The two years that I was in the preschool was just a lot of fun. Everyday there was something to laugh about with the kids. I am thankful that lately Vincent has become somewhat less serious and a bit more animated than he has been. I love laughing more with him again. Of course, he also has his moments of worrying and asking serious "what if"-questions. For the most part (unless news stories that he has read says otherwise) he trusts in my answers and seems to feel comforted.

How do kids do it? As I've gotten older I'm finding trust to be something I have to work harder at. I trust what people tell me for the most part. I'm talking about trusting that God's ways, as hard as it may be at times, is part of His grand plan for me. Kids can trust their parents to plan their day out for them and simply follow. Well... It used to be a struggle for us with Vincent, but he's doing much better at this now. All he asks is that I write his schedule for the day on the whiteboard and he's set for the day. In general, kids trust that their parents will do what's best for them and keep them safe. When and how did I lose this? Why do I need to be reminded that all that is happening to me now is part of God's schedule for me?

Twirling around in circles comes to mind. I remember playing with kids who would want me to twirl them around until they fall down with the world spinning around in their heads. They would grab on to my hand and we would go around as fast as possible. How did they know that I wouldn't let go? How did they know that I would stop before they threw up?

I find that I'm having to be reminded that God hasn't let go of my hands. Even if the world feels like it's spinning out of control, God still has a firm grasp. So why do I start to feel like He's let go when the world is spinning the fastest? Why don't I see that the spinning is all in my head and part of my life as God has planned? Why do I have to be reminded that God will only give me what I can handle? That he's not going to let me go over the edge if I just let him take the lead. Why don't I remember that all the challenges I'm faced with is meant to bring me closer to God and not to the end of the world?

As I seek to find answers, I am reminded that God has already given us the answers. I just didn't trust enough. Am I alone? Of course not. Since the time that God led the Israelites out of Egypt, he's had to remind all of us constantly to trust in Him. It's comforting to know that He's still always there, but wouldn't it be even better to just trust in Him in the first place?

As my world spins once again (and again and again), I try my best to just spin along with God. He's not going to let go. Am I the one that lets go? Most likely. For now... Laugh and spin like a child. It's hard, but it may just make us feel better.

Lunch with the Ladies

My days have been extraordinarily full lately and oftentimes I am unable to have lunch at the office, which I happen to enjoy. Yesterday, though, I was able to free up my schedule and spend more time in the office and actually have lunch there. I was prepared with my soup and apple. Upon entering the staff room, though, Noemi announced that Sylvia, someone who volunteers for our Stone Soup kitchen, had brought leftover soup and quesadillas for everybody. Noemi, Lynette, Barb, Ina, and I were joined by two Hispanic ladies, Sylvia and Maria. The soup and quesadillas were delicious and the conversation was LIVELY!

It was so much fun just talking about anything and everything that we could all come up with. Barb told us about her difficulties of remitting money to a bus company in Mexico City. Ina shared her experiences with being left at home with teenage boys. Noemi compared the family culture she grew up with to her American husband's family. This then turned into how our Spanish-influenced culture compared to the American culture. This I find so fascinating because even if we Filipinos are Asians, we are so much more like the Hispanics of the Americas. Sylvia then shared with us how the boys that her children went to grade school boys have now grown up into good-looking, hot, young men. This brought the house down! We could probably be heard a mile away as we all laughed and pounded on the table at the scandalous thought.

I couldn't help but think how much I miss these lunches with girlfriends where you can be as silly and scandalous (within reason, of course). The combination of the hearty food, the lively personalities, and the openness of the group just made for a great lunch hour.

As I write this, though, I have to admit that I also have another group of ladies that I lunch with. It's a super, secret club that only women are invited to. We're called the VCCWs -- or Very Cool Catholic Women. This is another lively conversation, but a little bit more serious. We also have some interesting women in this group. Sue, who is the Coordinator of the Newman Center, is a hoot. She tells the best stories and is very animated. There's Amy who is a new Catholic. She's Passionate with a capital P. She became a Catholic after reading about Dorothy Day and the Catholic Worker Movement. Needless to say, she's part of our Social Justice Commission but will be moving to California in July. Barb, who is our Pastoral Associate, is also quite lively and really adds to the conversations. Judy Ringle has read just about everything and is very energetic as well. She does a lot of glasswork as a hobby and even made us our lovely VCCW pins. This is just part of our group because I haven't had the chance to lunch with the other members yet. We just get together for lunch each last Friday of the month in the same restaurant to talk about anything and everything.

It's particularly interesting how different we all are yet our basic foundation is really quite similar. Women just have to talk and express their feelings. From here, we move on to other topics. But until we're able to download, these thoughts swirl around our heads and can lead to anxiety attacks if not poured out. We are capable of solving problems that we feel men seem to have a harder time grasping, yet we don't really want solutions to our problems. We just want to talk about them. Why? Because we're women. We just want someone to listen. We hyper-analyze situations, but don't want to be analyzed. What did she mean when she said this? Why do you think he did this? Does this mean that I'm so and so? But don't tell me what's wrong with me because you'll be wrong.

So, when's our next lunch?

Do They Really Exist?

I try to walk outside as often as I can to take in the beautiful Corvallis scenery. It's absolutely beautiful here; especially when the sun is shining and the flowers are in full bloom. Being away from Corvallis for 11 years has taught me to appreciate with even greater fervor this creation of God that he has given us to take care of. I've always loved the outdoors, but was more partial to the ocean which is one reason I would like to retire in a coastal community. Having lived in a congested, polluted metropolis with skyscrapers I have come to love the green, clean, pristine Corvallis.

People work very hard to keep the city pristine and clean. I am no longer talking about it's nature but the people that live here in Corvallis. The work that I do with the Church has led me to see how the city and it's members take care of "the least of these". On the surface and on paper one will be very impressed with the services available in the city. Medical services are provided to the low-income, the homeless have a temporary shelter they can turn to that also houses a rehab center, meal services, etc. Sounds good, right? Sure, as long as you meet its stringent criteria that's meant to serve only those who are capable of pulling themselves out of their situations anyway. I've been told that their doors are open for all those who need, but they, of course, don't mention the fine print that states all those who are not allowed their services.

We have a growing homeless population in Corvallis. When I was in high school 20 years ago (when did that happen?!), the homeless men lived under the bridge. I've been told that at one point the city decided they didn't want any homeless men in Corvallis so they raided under the bridge continuously until they all packed up and left. They didn't quite leave town, but simply scattered to other open areas and parks. Now we have individuals and families who live in cars, areas that haven't been built on yet, under park bushes -- anywhere the cops can't find them. A number of the men and women who are homeless are dealing with serious mental illnesses and/or are veterans. There is no service that will address the mental illnesses of these people that leads them out to the streets. Contrary to what most people believe, these people do not choose to be homeless. It saddens me to hear priviledged, educated adults talk about how these people have a choice and they choose to be homeless. Possibly because of my exposure to mental illnesses, I understand how so many aspects of their lives are beyond their control. Possibly because of the way my life has fallen into place, I understand that even those without illnesses still fall under circumstances that prevent them from meeting their basic needs.

Let me tell you about Laura. She is Mexican, but is legal and has her papers. She, however, has diabetes and anemia. Her diabetes has taken away the sight of one eye and has placed her in the hospital so many times -- sometimes near death. She suffers from the complications of diabetes and is no longer able to work. Her sole financial support comes from her son, who is in the US illegally. Through the work that he has been able to do, he has been able to provide her with her basic needs and the medical attention that she has needed. He was recently picked up by the police and was sent to Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS) to be deported. With the efforts of Catholic Charities, they've been able to delay the deportation process and are in the process of facilitating his freedom and possibly get him a charity visa of some sorts. As a mother it must be heart-wrenching to think of your son being detained, almost certainly not being treated well, and could possibly be deported to Mexico. Our Los Embajadores group had the opportunity to visit a shelter in Tijuana that houses those who have been deported to Mexico. They are dropped off with nothing but the clothes that they are wearing. I can't begin to imagine what Laura must be feeling and going through right now. What will happen to her if her son is sent away? This is a situation that is beyond her control and is life-threatening for her. What services does our city have to offer her? None that will be able to give her a hope of surviving through her illness. How do I know? Because we see people on a regular basis who need this kind of financial assistance. It's the churches and other non-profit organizations who are catching all those that can't be served by our system.

On a different level... Our schools are supposed to provide free and accessible public education. Something which a good number of our children are not receiving -- including Vincent. Your ideal Corvallis child would be busy with soccer and involved with 50 other activities. My Vincent struggles with the sensory issues that come with a crowded classroom, is very literal (he has an excellent vocabulary, but almost always applies the very literal meaning of these words), has problems with social skills -- everything that comes with Aspergers. Coping with these issues can be taught and managed, but it would require a smaller group setting and a teacher who can communicate well with students like Vincent. By law the schools are required to provide this setting and the capable personnel to provide this education. What happens when your principal is a former military man who believes that each student conform to his demands? You have an overwhelmed student who goes beyond his tolerable anxiety level and is no longer aware of his actions. What happens when the school district would rather not have these kinds of students in their system? Then you find yourself as a parent being made to believe that they are on your side, but realize as summer fast approaches that the school district still has not replied to your pleas for a better setting. I've been told too many times that they've never had to deal with a student like Vincent. NOT TRUE!!! I've learned that Vincent is one of plenty of children who are out of the school system and being taught by tutors an hour a day because they do not fit the mold of your ideal Corvallis student.

Fast forward this to high school. The drop out population of our high schools consist of students who are not able to conform to the college-track system that has been set in place. Some even feel that attending the local community college means that they are not smart enough to attend a university. Rather than face this shame, some drop out and obtain their GEDs in order to get into vocational courses at the community college. This does not make them any less smarter than your average university student. In fact, I've spoken to a few who are very smart. It just means that they have different talents that have been given to them. Some simply don't go back to school. What happens to them? A few of them become the ones who turn to the system to provide for their basic needs. Could something have been done to prevent these students from dropping out? Most certainly. Are these precautions being taken? From what I've learned -- no. Who is tasked to take care of students who struggle with conforming to the Corvallis mold? The non-profit organizations, counselors (if their parents can afford), or just brave souls who reach out to at-risk students.

The language of your typical Corvallis resident shows that the city has done a good job at pushing the least of these aside. They're the people who "live in the south side of town". They're the illegal immigrants who are generally referred to as "Hispanic" -- not all Hispanics are illegal and not all illegals are Hispanic. They're the children we don't want our children to play with. They the children you no longer see in schools because their parents can't control them. They're the ones whose parents choose to spend their money on alcohol and cigarettes. I wish I could tell you that I'm making this up, but these are statements I've heard from people around me.

Do they really exist? It depends on who you ask. I say yes. What do you think?

On Retiring And Other Random Thoughts

It's taken me a while to write because blogging seems like this futile exercise to which I send all my thoughts out into space to which no one really reads and no one probably cares. I've decided that I don't particularly need an audience. I just need an outlet for all these random thoughts...

I spend a good deal of my time at work meeting with people. These people are passionate, energetic, full of laughter, honest, and lovely to work with. Also, we have at least a 25-year age gap. Since most of the people I deal with are volunteers, it just goes (in this town anyway) that most of them are retired. Retired ladies. I have learned quite a bit from all of them.

There's Betty who is 86 years old and can take on any 30-year-old! She is someone you would want to advocate for you about anything; especially if it happens to be about health care. She is part of all sorts of committees and boards that are working towards affordable health care for all in Oregon. Here's an example of what she's like. She drove up to Portland (about 2 hours away) at 6:00 in the morning for a health care forum that lasted the whole day. She then went straight to a dinner function that we were attending at 7:00 in the evening. She drove herself both ways. Eighty six years old! She will argue with me about making 800 photocopies of a flyer for a film that one of her committees/organization is showing. She will also invite us young ones to her house for dessert and dominos and think that we're ending early when I say it's time to go at 10:00pm. She also, though, tells her husband every night how blessed she is to have him in her life and they share with each other the blessings they experienced that day. Oh, I love watching her with her husband. They still hold hands throughout Mass.

Then there's Ellen. She is quite the communicator. When we get on the phone, we end up talking about our meetings for almost an hour. She is quite apologetic always, but just wants to make sure she understands everything correctly. Part of these conversations, though, are about Vincent. She always makes it a point to ask about Vincent. She is a breast cancer survivor.

Angela will speak her mind and is quite the law-abider. She will then laughingly say, "Well, but that's me -- the cup is always half empty!". She babysits for her grandchildren on a regular basis.

Maxine was the first Social Justice Coordinator at St. Mary's (the position that I now fill). She is part of a group that goes on bike rides every Saturday -- at least 30 miles. She and her husband also take long-distance bike trips with friends annually. She has tried to talk me into joining her bike-riding group, but I do not quite have the freedom to be gone that long every Saturday. She is so passionate -- to the point of being very emotional as well.

One common sentiment from my retired lady friends is this: When you are retired, people are more forgiving of your honesty. Actually, the way it's been put is this, "When you're as old as I am, you can say anything you want and people forgive you!" They will say this with a laugh that makes it sound like they're getting away with something and just absolutely love it. They all have different organizations that they volunteer for and this keeps them very busy! They all also work out at the gym everyday. To which they've also made sure to talk me into giving in and signing up with the gym. They always check on my well-being and make sure that I'm not working above my 30-hour work week.

These ladies have taught me that age does not matter when you love what you are doing. In fact, this is the perfect time to be able to do the things you love. They work harder than a lot of younger people I know and have more energy than this late-thirties person. Then they retreat off to the coast on the weekends and travel extensively. They've also taught me quite a bit about being compassionate and passionate. I love seeing the fire in their eyes when thye're talking about issues that they feel strongly about. Then there are the times when tears are close by because of the hardship of others. It's quite a treat to get to work with them. It's quite amusing especially because I actually graduated from high school with the children of a couple of them. One thing is for sure -- two hour meetings are still not quite long enough with these ladies. I want to be like them when I grow up!

I actually have one last random thought. In the Bible it is said that each person should be given a plot of land that cannot be bought or sold. Think about how this world would be so different if this were the case. We had talked about this in a workshop that I had attended, but it didn't really fully hit me until one early morning. First of all, I wouldn't have a job. We would all more or less be equal and should have what we need to survive. It would also be interesting to see who survives and who doesn't. How would each one of us make use of this land that has been given? Would there be enough land to go around? Just a thought...

That's it for now! The coming month will find me busy preparing for my upcoming trip to Peru. I can't wait to see Todd!!! Before that, though, I have to plan my activities for the upcoming year (August to June), get all the things I need, get Vincent prepared for my being away, pray that my mom comes home soon, and get fit enough to make it though the 4-day hike to Machu Picchu! I can't wait to see Todd!!! Have I mentioned that? Until next time...