Realities...

Well, I'm back from Peru and have tons to share about my trip. It was a very full and amazing trip. Unfortunately, getting pictures posted hasn't been quite so easy because of some technical difficulties. I will sit down later on and write about my trip when I have pictures to go along with it.

For now I am back at St. Mary's and trying to get work done -- not an easy task for now! I've been teaching my 2nd graders for Vacation Bible School in the mornings and then trying to fit in whatever work I can in the afternoons.

I ask permission to go off topic a bit... I love my 2nd graders! What surprised me the most was that some of them were my preschoolers during my first year with St. Mary's Preschool. It's hard to believe that they will soon be preparing for First Communion. More and more I am tempted to say that I would like to teach that class, but I'm trying to be realistic about my schedule. I already have some Sundays committed for my work activities -- I don't know how much Vincent and my parents would appreciate my being gone every Sunday. I suppose one reality here is that I'm getting older! My preschoolers are now reading and know all sorts of bigger words (and being able to use them, too!). I love being able to get my hugs from them again. I never realized how much I missed this part of being with kids. I have the biggest class of all -- 17 kids, but they are just great. This age still listens when they are told to listen, yet are capable of really great conversations already as well. I initially felt suckered into teaching this class, but now I am so thankful that this was sent my way at this time.

Going back to my real job... I have encountered once again my usual cast of characters and they've been keeping me grounded. I volunteer at our Daytime Drop In Center for the homeless. I help as much as I can in setting up breakfast and then pretty much be there to talk with the people. There are two people in the center that I particularly enjoying talking to. Jeniffer is the Executive Director of the Center. She has a 10-year old son as well. She has also self-diagnosed herself as having Aspergers. She said that she has to force herself to look people in the eyes when she talks with them. She learned from her mom and sister (who are diagnosed with Aspergers) that this is a trait, so she does her best to overcome this. She also told me that she used to be violent (something that is quite common with people who have not learned to control their anxieties), so this has led to a tougher life for her. You see, Jeniffer herself is homeless. I admire her because of her knowledge of the people that she works with and her dedication to doing this job even if it is as a volunteer. She tells me that most of the time she just longs to get behind her handheld videogame, but she fights that because she knows this is a common trait of people with Aspergers and that she needs to interact with people. She lives in a tent in a field in the outskirts of Corvallis where a lot of the homeless people with tents live. She shares her tent with her boyfriend, Wayne, and their dog that they saved from an abusive situation. Her son lives with his father and she sees him on the weekends. I assume she is unable to hold a job because of her disability. She told me that she has tried so hard, but she just can't conform to the workplace.

Then there's Dale. He's the Macgyver (spelling?) of the center. He has anything and everything in his backpack and in his pockets. He is so smart. He can tell you anything about everything (which, of course, leads to unusually lengthy conversations). He is generous with what he has to offer (like wrench-shaped sugar free mints that he likes because he's diabetic). When he knows you need help with something, he jumps to help. Dale was in the Vietnam war. He definitely has mental issues, but I'm not quite sure what it is. He is very good friends with another gentleman, Loran, whom I've met because of the assistance we've given to him at the church. He is also a vet. They would get along well because they are very similar in their mannerism. Loran is a big guy who is diabetic also and has a wound that hasn't healed in over a year. He came to me asking for help because his tent and other personal belongings (including his Bible he says) were stolen. He is this tall, heavy-built man, that can be quite snippy and sarcastic. Yet he is not afraid to give hugs and was close to tears when he was given more than what he had expected. These gentlemen, I assume, are in the state that they are in because of their duty to fight for their country. So why are they are out in the streets? I highly doubt that if they were in a better state of mind (or if they were getting the proper mental health assistance that they need) they would choose to be homeless. There are those that feel that this is a choice that they make. When you talk to these men and women who call the fields and streets home, listen to their streams of thoughts, and find out what they've gone through, I don't agree that this was a conscious choice.

There are others I've met who are not homeless, but barely meeting their basic needs. I've written about Laura whose son was being detained in immigration. He was deported to Mexico. This is a man in his 20s who grew up in the United States. He came to Corvallis when he was 5 years old. He was his mother's sole financial supporter because she has been too ill to work. Laura has diabetes and is blind in one eye. She now has no one to support her and is looking for any kind of work she can get. Yet Laura has managed to find ways to smile, keep me updated on her status, and tells me funny stories about her son. It kills me that I am unable to pay for her utilities or her rent because she was already given assistance a few months ago. Now I have to send her to all sorts of other places, but even those places will not be able to help any longer in a month or two. Laura is quite the fighter and I think she will find a way. Her son is now working in Mexico and is paid quite well considering Mexico's low wages. His being able to speak English and Spanish with fluency will be helpful for him, but will not be enough to provide the support that his mother needs. With her medication alone, she spends well over $400 a month. Watching her take these small steps towards survival is quite inspiring, but heartbreaking as well.

I sometimes feel overwhelmed with the hardships of people all over the world. I also manage to make myself feel even more overwhelmed when I throw my own woes into the pot. I know that my problems don't come anywhere near what Jeniffer, Dale, Loran and Laura have to go through. This does remind me that we each have our own realities that we deal with as best we can and they are hardships nonetheless. Actually, it was Todd who reminded me of this. I know I mope, cry and get cranky when I feel my life is tough. Seeing these people laugh and share, though, teaches me that I, too, can laugh and share. Realities will follow us wherever we go, but we have to just keep going and laugh and share along the way.