Childlike Trust

The one thing I miss the most since leaving the preschool are the kids. The two years that I was in the preschool was just a lot of fun. Everyday there was something to laugh about with the kids. I am thankful that lately Vincent has become somewhat less serious and a bit more animated than he has been. I love laughing more with him again. Of course, he also has his moments of worrying and asking serious "what if"-questions. For the most part (unless news stories that he has read says otherwise) he trusts in my answers and seems to feel comforted.

How do kids do it? As I've gotten older I'm finding trust to be something I have to work harder at. I trust what people tell me for the most part. I'm talking about trusting that God's ways, as hard as it may be at times, is part of His grand plan for me. Kids can trust their parents to plan their day out for them and simply follow. Well... It used to be a struggle for us with Vincent, but he's doing much better at this now. All he asks is that I write his schedule for the day on the whiteboard and he's set for the day. In general, kids trust that their parents will do what's best for them and keep them safe. When and how did I lose this? Why do I need to be reminded that all that is happening to me now is part of God's schedule for me?

Twirling around in circles comes to mind. I remember playing with kids who would want me to twirl them around until they fall down with the world spinning around in their heads. They would grab on to my hand and we would go around as fast as possible. How did they know that I wouldn't let go? How did they know that I would stop before they threw up?

I find that I'm having to be reminded that God hasn't let go of my hands. Even if the world feels like it's spinning out of control, God still has a firm grasp. So why do I start to feel like He's let go when the world is spinning the fastest? Why don't I see that the spinning is all in my head and part of my life as God has planned? Why do I have to be reminded that God will only give me what I can handle? That he's not going to let me go over the edge if I just let him take the lead. Why don't I remember that all the challenges I'm faced with is meant to bring me closer to God and not to the end of the world?

As I seek to find answers, I am reminded that God has already given us the answers. I just didn't trust enough. Am I alone? Of course not. Since the time that God led the Israelites out of Egypt, he's had to remind all of us constantly to trust in Him. It's comforting to know that He's still always there, but wouldn't it be even better to just trust in Him in the first place?

As my world spins once again (and again and again), I try my best to just spin along with God. He's not going to let go. Am I the one that lets go? Most likely. For now... Laugh and spin like a child. It's hard, but it may just make us feel better.