My dad would always say that in the Philippines there was never any need for women's liberation. That's because Filipina women are very strong already even in a country where machismo thrives. Maybe it's because of this that we've become strong. Women, in general, have definitely become more powerful and independent. But is this how we naturally evolved or has it come out of necessity? Is this what we truly wanted? Is this where we were meant to be? I know that I've always wanted to have a career. When I was younger I wanted to be a teacher. In high school I wanted to be a marine biologist (until I was told by aunts that there's no money in this field, but sometimes I wonder "what if..."). In college I wanted to have my own business. The way my life unfolded, I had to ensure I had an income no matter what. I am thankful that my work is something that I really enjoy and believe in. Being a single mother -- to a special needs child at that -- has had its challenges, but you do what you need to do.
I'm not saying that women shouldn't have careers, businesses, or be submissive creatures that follow their husbands around. Why can't we just embrace the fact that women are inherently women and men are men? Maybe if we value ourselves for who we were created to be, then marriages would be treated with more respect? When we start to think that men and women are equal in all ways, what is keeping us from learning and growing from our differences? What is keeping us from fully accepting our partners for everything that they are?
I love how Bruce and I are alike in plenty of ways. Yet I also love how we are different as well. We've definitely had lots of laughs about this. Our world is so much broader because of these differences. I love being able to cook for Vincent and Bruce. I love taking care of them whenever I can. It just comes naturally. I love how Bruce protects me. I love how he is willing horse-play with Vincent because I don't. We compare how our views on different issues vary because of our being male and female. In acknowledging these differences, we respect each others' views and learn. I've come to realize how important it is for me and Vincent to have his views and male-way of doing things. We have lots of fun, great conversations, and a greater understanding of each other. I especially find Vincent and Bruce's fascination towards "manly" things really funny -- movies, martial arts, etc.
Why do I like it? Then they acknowledge me as a woman. There are times when they agree with my point of view. There are times when it's funny. There are times when they just shake their heads. But, in the end, it's still my way and I'm accepted and respected for it. Of course, there's still a lot to learn from each other and sometimes I can tell that it's frustrating for all of us. But since the differences are recognized, we're willing to learn. I love how comfortable I am in asserting myself now. In the past, I had this need to be accepted as a full equal and often ended up not saying anything at all. Well, the whole dynamics of those relationships are very different as a whole. I was always unsure of myself and had more insecurities in these relationships. I tried so hard to please the other, tried to be just like the other, and ended up either not being accepted or getting worn out from all the work that it took.
I sometimes will take it to the extreme. If we want so much to get rid of gender differences, then why aren't men wearing skirts like we wear pants? I don't know. Just asking.
