Common or Unique?

This morning I had a conversation with a woman I have grown to really like. She volunteers for various groups in our parish and I've had the privilege to get to know more about her these past few weeks. She told me today that she now realizes that the best thing her father taught her and her siblings was to use common sense.

It seems like this should come naturally, right? That's why it's called "common" sense, right? From what I've seen, however, common sense is a skill that not so many people have. I see it when people come to ask for financial help. I see it during meetings when we're trying to come up with solutions to age-old problems. I see it in every day life. It almost feels like we're so used to googling everything, or reading FAQ's, or joining community forums, that we've stopped learning how to use common sense.

One area that I've seen this over and over is when I am dealing with women who come to us asking for help. One scenario is a woman has two or three children from different relationships, needing help with rent because the most recent boyfriend has just left her, she has no relatives nearby or has no relationship with her family, and now she is needing to find a job and affordable childcare. I feel for these women. Having to be in this situation has got to be very tough. Nobody wants to have to deal with so much after having their heart broken. Yet, at the same time, I wonder why they didn't learn from the first failed relationship. Or the second, or the third,...?

As much as it's hard to say whether or not a relationship truly is for life or not, there are steps a woman can take to make sure she is not left in the same situation once again. Using both mind and heart when it comes to going into a relationship is a start. Your heart will make you do all sorts of silly things, that's for sure. But we've also been blessed with minds to discern the difference between a responsible, kind-hearted man and a man that is irresponsible and prone to flight.

I also can't stress enough the importance of staying connected with family. Sorry. There is no perfect family. A dysfunctional family, however, is better than none at all. At the very least you'll know that you'll never be without food and shelter. In those that I've helped, the ones who were connected with family were more likely to come up with their own solutions, come only once for assistance, and showed more responsibility in working towards their next steps. I am generalizing, but it's easy to spot the difference between those with family support and those without.

Common sense deals with so much more in the course of our daily lives. What has softened us so much that something that should be common has now become a unique gift? What can we do to sharpen our skills? Do we all have it or just a select few? I don't have the answers, but I sure do hope I have sense enough to make it through each day.