Moving On...

This past week has taught me something one would think would be common sense by now. That is, the THOUGHT of change is scarier than it really is. During my last week at Lincoln School, my thoughts were filled with anxiety, doubt, and fear. I was anxious about what would happen to Vincent when I left the school. I doubted I was truly capable of the position that I was about to fill. I feared I would not be able to live up to the expectations of all the parishioners.

My applying for the position of Social Justice Ministry Coordinator at St. Mary's was truly a long shot in my opinion. I never thought they would actually hire me. There was just this tug in my heart that told me I had to at least give it a try. During an opportunity to chat with Lynette Martin, Fr. John's secretary, I found out that the requirements for the position had been lowered and that they were still actively looking for someone to fill this position. The sour grapevine kept telling people that the search was just a front and that there really was no intention of hiring anybody for this position. I still felt compelled to ask about it anyway. In fact, I had to take part of the day off to even bring this up with Kristin Rifai, the Business Development Manager. When I was informed that the search team was interested in interviewing me, I still kept letting the doubts enter my head. This meant another few hours off from work -- would it be worth the lost income? Only one way to find out... I prepared for the interview by reviewing the Catholic Social Teachings, which further reinforced my decision to apply for the position in the first place (that's for another blog posting :) ). I was very nervous during the interview, which the team noted and they tried to put me at ease. This nervousness surprised me because the search team consisted of people I've known for some time now. There was something about being interviewed on your personal beliefs and this being the judge of whether or not you're qualified rather than just being based on your previous work experience that made me so nervous. Fortunately, they were all in agreement with my beliefs so here I am.

This first week has been truly wonderful. This is how every first week at work should be. There was no need to small-talk with people in order to get to know them because I've known them all for years now. It was so comfortable and I just dove right into getting to know my ministry better. I have especially enjoyed having interesting conversations during lunch time once again!

My anxieties about leaving Vincent were, for the most part, unfounded. According to his teacher, he has shown some signs of missing me but he has moved on. The incidents that have happened this week have been nothing out-of-the-ordinary and nothing he couldn't solve on his own. In fact, when I ask him about how his day went he would just answer me, "It's my own personal business." Fine... As long as the school isn't calling me we must be doing fine.

My doubts about not being capable of doing this job are slowly easing out of my mind. As I learn more about the issues that we are dealing with, I find myself becoming even more passionate about wanting to make changes. I may have a lot to learn for now, but I know I have the conviction needed in order to bring about steps towards resolutions. I have also accepted that to many of these issues I may never see final results, but the most I can do is to educate our parishioners, bring them to action, and to take the steps we all need to take no matter how small they may be.

My fears of not living up to expectations are still there, but I've also spoken to quite a few people who have given their support and let me know that they realize that it will take time to fully get into this position. There are still some who talk about how things were in the past and seem to want to bring it back to the way it used to be, but I just have to remind myself of what I've learned about change. It will take time for everyone to accept the changes and realize that it's not so bad after all. They will also learn to move on.

What to expect from here on? You can be sure I will start posting about different issues that we deal with such as immigration, the Iraqi Refugee situation, hunger and poverty here in the US and internationally, respecting life, the care for God's creations,... Oh boy, don't get me started on any of these right now. I will be calling on people to take notice of these situations and how we are all called to respond -- fulfilling our Baptismal responsibilities. What may surprise you is the fact that we already have the basic foundation and we just need to take a bit more action. I know because you are all good people with big hearts. I should know... You've read this far, haven't you?